Skip to main content

Forgiveness is a Choice- Getting to Hope - A Review

 Forgiveness is a Choice

A Step-by-Step Process for   

Resolving Anger and

Restoring Hope

By

  Robert D. Enright

Reviewed by

   Geoffrey W. Sutton



In Forgiveness is a Choice, psychologist Robert D. Enright provides “a self-help book for people who have been deeply hurt by another and are caught in a vortex of anger, depression, and resentment.”

Enright begins by explaining what forgiveness is, what forgiveness is not, and what happens if we do not forgive. His explanations include examples to help understand how people come to terms with offenses and what it means to forgive an offender.

For his definition of forgiveness, Enright quotes British philosopher, Joanna North.

When unjustly hurt by another, we forgive when we overcome the resentment toward the offender, not by denying our right to resentment, but instead by trying to offer the wrongdoer compassion, benevolence, and love; as we give these, we as forgivers realize that the offender does not necessarily have a right to such gifts.

Enright, like other psychologists, advise readers that forgiveness is not condoning, excusing, forgetting, or justifying an offense. Also, forgiveness is distinct from reconciling, which requires building trust between two parties.

Four Phases

Having established that forgiveness is a process, Enright explains the four phases of the model he has tested in research.

Phase 1: Uncovering your Anger

Enright presents a set of questions to help readers identify their anger toward the offender and evaluate the impact of the offense on thoughts, feelings, health, and even life itself.

Phase 2: Deciding to Forgive

Readers are encouraged to consider their willingness to begin the forgiveness process.

Phase 3: Working on Forgiveness

In this phase, readers learn about understanding and compassion, accepting pain, and giving the offender the gift of forgiveness.

Phase 4: Discovery and Release from Emotional Prison

Enright identifies several things we can discover in this phase of the forgiveness process. For example: the meaning of suffering, your need for forgiveness, you are not alone, the purpose of your life, freedom of forgiveness.

Final Chapters

Two final chapters address related topics. In chapter 13, Enright offers suggestions on helping children forgive. And In chapter 14, he discusses reconciliation.

***************

I have read works by Robert Enright and Ev Worthington (see list) and find that the scientific evidence for both forgiveness models is robust so, it is easy to recommend them to others. The models are somewhat different but include similar components to help us deal with powerful emotions and recurring thoughts about the ways people have hurt us. An organized sequence can help us reach forgiveness and let go of the past to focus on the present and the future.

Of course, forgiveness is not a panacea and self-help programs for forgiveness do not always work for everyone. Some may find consulting a psychotherapist helpful. Recommendations for psychotherapists can be found by contacting physicians or insurance companies and through professional organizations like the APA psychologist locator https://locator.apa.org/

 Find Enright’s book online:  AMAZON and GOOGLE

 For reviews of other books on forgiveness, CLICK HERE. 

Cite this blog post

Sutton, G.W. (2020, November 5). Forgiveness is a choice-Getting to hope-A review. Sutton Reviews. https://suttonreviews.suttong.com/2020/11/forgiveness-is-choice-getting-to-hope.html 

 

Book Reference

Enright, R.D. (2001). Forgiveness is a choice: A step-by-step process for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

JESUS AND JOHN WAYNE - A book review

  JESUS AND JOHN WAYNE How White Evangelicals        Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation By    Kristin Kobes Du Mez Reviewed by    Geoffrey W. Sutton   Kristin Kobes Du Mez begins and ends her assault on militaristic white American evangelical men with their contemporary sociopolitical leader, former president, Donald Trump. In the Introduction we learn the short doctrinal list of what it means to be a Bible-believing evangelical, but the author posits that American evangelicals are more than a set of theological statements. Instead, since the early 1900s they have embraced a John Wayne view of what it means to be a Christian man—a powerful warrior for country and God—a man who leads his troops into battle to uphold the values of God’s chosen people, the Americans. It was the title, Jesus and John Wayne , that was off-putting. I didn’t grow up with John Wayne films or a love of American westerns. I was after...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why I am not a Christian - Bertrand Russell - A book Review

 Why I Am Not A         Christian By   Bertrand Russell Reviewed by   Geoffrey W. Sutton   I am still surprised by the memory of a professor at a highly conservative college who included Russell’s book, Why I am not a Christian as assigned reading in a Philosophy of Christianity class. I don’t recall what the professor said about the collection of essays so many years ago. However, it is a classic work and deserves at least a look by those like me interested in the psychology of religion and related fields like philosophy. The lead essay answers the author’s question in the title. It was presented as a lecture at the Battersea Town Hall (London, England) in 1927. His logical thinking is evident early on as he attempts to define the concept, Christian . He considers a few options and concludes first, that a Christian must believe in God and immortality, and second, a Christian must at least think of Christ as the “best and wis...
Post a Comment
Read more

Progressive Christianity - Book List Reviews or Summaries

  The Way Understanding Progressive Christianity Book Reviews One way to understand a movement is to read what the leaders have written. The progressive Christian movement, like any Christian movement, can be difficult to describe in detail because there is no one authoritative body or voice. Instead, there are many voices. I hesitate to offer too many descriptive statements because there are surely some who will disagree. Nevertheless, I will list a few trends then list some of the books by writers with progressive perspectives. See the book reviews by clicking the highlighted titles below. Progressive Christians emphasize: A focus on the life and teachings of Jesus when interpreting scripture and thinking morally about current social issues. An appreciation of what it means to truly love God and one’s neighbour as oneself when it comes to compassionate behaviour and promoting justice for all. A commitment to following Jesus' example of meeting the immediate needs of peo...
Post a Comment
Read more